Marriage and "Settling in Life"

Many people have asked me about marriage and when do I intend to bind myself in this relationship. I had to give it a deep though as the time has come for me to settle in life. Apparently, the phrase “settle in life” means marriage. “How does one settle in life after marriage?” is what makes me ponder.

I may have talked about marriage in a light manner as always. I don't treat my life so casually the way I talk. I am in my mid twenties and may not sound like one when I talk or write. My casual nature is just a result of a promise to myself that whatever be the circumstances, I have to be happy with whatever I do.

I do know the responsibility of a man in a relationship. In a marriage, it’s the girl who sacrifices a lot prior marriage. She gives up her home, her toys and above all her parents just to live with an individual all her life. She blindly trusts this guy hoping he would take care of her well hereafter.
From a guy’s point of view, there is responsibility that we take all this into consideration and give that girl the same or more happiness than what she got at her own home. Compromises are done from both ends and it is the couple’s duty to adjust to a point where the relationship clicks. If one of them stops adjusting or is defiant on not changing themselves wherever the relationship demands, the relationship starts to rust.
As a student of MBA, I define this as, an alliance of two organizations where all the resources are shared. This both organizations work towards a common goal that is bringing out the best of this alliance. There is no run for profit individually but profit is generated to help each other stay in business for life. It is always a "going concern" concept.
I know the risk of ending up with the wrong partner. I am a firm believer in the saying that a woman can make or break you. But I also believe that if I am successful in keeping my partner happy, then I am bound to keep life happy. All the above does not mean I will be my woman's man listening to all she says. There are times when you stop listening and do things your way but ensure your way does not hurt your partner.
Give me another free 1 hour and I am up for writing a book on above topic. All I wanted to say was I understand the responsibilities and am not fazed by looking at couples and their romance. Marriage is a gamble with life where you do not know what's holding for you on other side. It’s a risk which may turn out good, may turn out to be bad. Yet again, even setting up a business is a gamble where you do not know if you would get ROI and make profits. You gamble with resources and count on it to work risking all that you have. It’s a plunge we have to take as humans until unless we decide to work in "not for profit organization" committing our life to social service. That is, one decides to become a nun or priest in a church!
I am tired of my own lecture. Hope to be writing sometime again.

Both men & women, sons & daughters - need to read this

BEING A MOTHER....

After 17 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said, 'I love you, but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you.'

* * *

The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been alone for 20 years, but the demands of my work and my two boys had made it possible to visit her only occasionally.

* * *

That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie.

* * *

'What's wrong, aren't you well,' she asked?

* * *

My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news.

* * *

'I thought it would be pleasant to spend some time with you,' I responded. 'Just the two of us.'

She thought about it for a moment, and then said, 'I would like that very much..'

* * *

That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her

house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last birthday on November 19th.

* * *

She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's. 'I told my friends that I was going to go

out with my son, and they were impressed,' she said, as she got into that new white van. 'They can't wait to hear about our date'.

* * *

We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy.. My mother took my

arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only read large print. Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips.. 'It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small,' she said. 'Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor,' I responded.

* * *

During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation- -nothing extraordinary but catching up on recent events of each other's life. We talked so much that we missed the movie.

* * *

As we arrived at her house later, she said, 'I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you.' I agreed.

* * *

'How was your dinner date ?' asked my wife when I got home. 'Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined,' I answered.

* * *

A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn't have a chance to do anything for her.

* * *

Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place

mother and I had dined. An attached note said: 'I paid this bill in advance. I wasn't sure that I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates - one for you and the other for your wife.

You will never know what that night meant for me. I love you, son..'

* * *

At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: 'I LOVE YOU' and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve.. Nothing in life is more important than your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till 'some other time.'

* * *

Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you've had a baby..... somebody doesn't know that once you're a mother, 'normal' is history.

* * *

Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct .... somebody never took a three-year- old shopping.

* * *

Somebody said being a mother is boring .... somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver's permit. Somebody said if you're a'good' mother, your child will 'turn out good'....

somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.

* * *

Somebody said you don't need an education to be a mother.... somebody never helped a fourth grader with his math.

* * *

Somebody said you can't love the second child as much as you love the first .... somebody doesn't

have two children.

* * *

Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery.... somebody never watched her 'baby' get on the bus for the first day of kindergarten ... or on a plane headed for military 'boot camp.'

* * *

Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married....somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother's heartstrings.

* * *

Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child leaves home...... somebody never had grandchildren.

* * *

Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don't need to tell her.... somebody isn't a mother.

The 3 Lessons......

Take some time out and read these beautiful words carefully.

Later, reflect on what you have just read.

Surely you will understand a lot of things…

First Lesson

... after some months at the faculty of medicine, the professor gave us a test.

Being a good student, I quickly answered all the questions… all, but the last: “What is the baptism name of the maid of our institute?

I handed over my test paper, leaving the last question unanswered. Just before the lesson ended, another student inquired if the last question would be marked.

“Certainly!", the professor replied. “You will meet many people in your life. All of them will have some degree of importance.

They will deserve your attention, even if it is a simple smile or a simple hello".

I never forgot this lesson… and went on to learn that the baptism name of our maid was Marianna.

Second Lesson

On a rainy, tempestuous night a “coloured” woman was standing on the roadside.
Her car had broken down and she desperately needed help.

Wet to her core, she signalled to the passers by.

A white young man, as if unaware of the racial conflicts that tore apart America in the 60s, stopped to help her.

He conducted her to a safe place, called a mechanic and hailed a taxi for her. The woman seemed too much in a hurry, but did not forget to thank him and take down his address on a piece of paper.

Seven days had already passed when someone knocked at the door of the young man.

To his enormous surprise, it was a courier with a huge packet to deliver – a big colour TV along with a note: “Many thanks for helping me on the road that night.

The rain had completely drenched me and my soul when you appeared.

Thanks to you I was able to reach my dying husband just in time.

God bless you for having helped me.

Sincerely,

Mrs. King Cole"

Third Lesson

Sometime ago, when the ice-creams were not so expensive, a ten-year old boy went to an ice-cream parlour. While sitting at the table, he asked the waitress, “How much does a Sundae cost?” “50 cents,” she replied.

The boy took out his money from the pocket and began counting it.

“Well, how much does a simple ice-cream cost?".

There were other people waiting to be served, so the waitress began to get a little impatient.

"35 cents!" she replied abruptly. The boy counted his money again and said: “Please get me a simple ice-cream!"

The waitress served him the ice-cream and his bill. The boy ate his ice-cream, paid his bill at the cash counter and left.

When the waitress went to clean the table she began to cry… for there, in the corner of the plate, were 15 cents… her tip.

The boy took a simple ice-cream instead of a Sundae so he could leave a tip for her.

If you have never experienced the danger of war or the solitude of imprisonment, the agony of torture and hunger, you are much ahead of the 500 million people who live in this world.

If you have food in your refrigerator, clothes to wear, a roof on your head and a place to sleep, you are richer than the 75% of the people who live on this Earth.

If you are able to read this message, you are not one of those 2000,000,000 people who are illiterate!

Somebody said at some time:

Work as if you have no need of the money.
Love as if nobody ever made you suffer.
Dance as if nobody is watching you.
Sing as if nobody is hearing you.
Live as if the Paradise were on this Earth.

My Encounter with the Deprived

After my meeting with him, I was forced to turn to the almighty and ask, why people are born poor? What is his judgment on poverty? Why are not people rewarded solely on the hard work they put in and why do some enjoy the fruits of their guardians’ labour.

He looked at me with anticipation. Waited for me to come close by to him. As I was about to turn towards the way leading to my car, he put a step forward with his hands reaching out and said “Hum chai piyega”. (I will drink tea). Casually and not understanding what he meant to say, I said “toh piyo” (So drink tea). Having workload in my mind, I didn’t understand what the meaning was for him to tell me that he wants to drink tea. Without saying anything further, he made a gesture of eating food with his hand which later struck me that, he was begging. My initial reaction was no. I firmly believed handing over money to beggars would do them no good. No matter how much they earn through this way, they would still resort to begging. I looked at him with attitude from top to bottom and saw him to be a healthy man with ability to think, talk, use his hands, legs and body perfectly. But I what I failed to look into him was his luck.

I saw a plastic bag with aluminium cans inside it. I reached to my purse, handed him petty cash and while doing so I could not withhold the questions inside me. I asked him, what he did with the cans. He smiled, his front two teeth tainted. With excitement he spoke of his profession, “they pay me 15 dhs per kilo”. He did not feel ashamed neither he had any depression on his face. “Kilo means 100 cans. And till now I have collected only 35-40 cans. I wanted to have food, that’s why I am asking for money”. I further enquired him about his employment. I knew no one could enter the country without any company sponsoring them & their visa. I wanted to catch him lying and guilty. “I don’t have a visa. My visa has expired months ago. My employer does not care and my company disowned me. I stay in a room, without a job. Instead of sitting at my room and doing nothing I am here looking for Pepsi cans. I will then sell them in Sharjah industrial area where they will pay me money. Please give me any cleaning job you have at home. I will clean your house for any amount you give me”.

With no job to offer, I could not but feel pity on his condition. I said him why does he not return back to his home country? With regret, yet with a smiling face he replied “where do I go? I sold my house to come in here. I will not even get a job there. This is my life”, he said lifting the plastic bag. I didn’t know what to say or suggest. I reached for my purse again. Realizing I did not have much to give, I gave him the most expensive paper I had without thinking further and said apologies for not making his life better but I hope this would suffice for him to spent few days without having to work on empty stomach. He initially hesitated to take the money. He was trying to figure out what the amount was until it left my hands. His face grew dim and nervous and for the last time, he did not say a word. I told him to take care of himself and left without turning back. In some corner of my heart, I wished I had never met him. I wished I didn’t see him again. I wished poverty becomes a thing of the past. I left from there unable to bear the scorching heat. Yet again, I could not complain. There was him there in some dirt under the same heat searching for items which we people don’t even care to push in the bin. Today, the garbage we fling in air, is someone else’s living.